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Friendship Is Over, This Is The Reason You Need To Stop Blaming Yourself

Most people blame themselves for the end of their friendship. As soon as the person leaves, he will start to think about various questions about what he has done and what he has not done. This will then lead to self-lamenting and suffering from thinking about friendships that have ended. This ongoing act of lamenting will make you blame yourself even more for what happened.

If you are experiencing it, Ladies, this will not have any positive impact on you, let alone make your friendship good again. Another more important thing you need to do in this situation is to learn from what has happened and improve the quality of yourself, Ladies. To get out of this self-blame situation, psychotherapist and author of I Know How You Feel: The Joy and Heartbreak of Friendship in Women’s Lives ?, Diane Barth, shares several reasons related to why you shouldn’t blame yourself for the end of your friendship.

Friendship is not a failure
Whatever relationship exists in your life comes for a reason. Even though it’s hard to see now, you might realize that this friend teaches you how to love yourself or offers comfort at certain moments in your life. “We always learn something from every friendship – something about ourselves and others – and we can make it a new lesson that we can bring to the rest of our lives and our friendships in the future,” Barth said.

Lessons That Encourage Improvement in Self Quality
Just because your friendship has ended does not mean that the relationship that has been forged with him is futile. Instead of trying to keep the relationship away from your life forever, try to analyze what you can learn from it. With that, you can get information that you can apply to other relationships. “You can learn from it, grow from it, no matter who is ‘wrong’ over the end of the relationship, you can move forward to another relationship,” he explained. Barth added, blaming yourself too hard will make it difficult for you to take the next step in life.

Avoid Questioning ‘Friendship’ on Social Media
When a friendship ends unexpectedly, it’s easy to make a story in our heads about what really went wrong – especially when we are still ‘friends’ with that person on social media. Just looking at uploads on Instagram or Twitter from a former friend’s account will make our minds guess what is wrong and lead us to blame ourselves. “Even though it’s difficult, it’s important to protect yourself and your friends from the excessive pressure exerted by social media exposure,” Barth said.

Make Friendship As Lessons Regarding Responsibility
Making mistakes is annoying. As humans, we are not immune from making mistakes. However, this also does not mean there is something wrong with you, it’s just that you and your friends do not have a compatibility with each other, so your friendship must end. By being aware of your mistakes, Barth also considers that this moment can be a lesson for you regarding being responsible for your own actions and apologizing properly. However, don’t hope this will change the situation or make you feel better.

“Taking responsibility for your actions, whether the person accepts your apology or not, trying to understand what you have done and how you can stop yourself from repeating it is also a way to improve your quality,” he explained. Barth admitted that this action was rather difficult, considering, when you have blamed yourself, you are likely to avoid this responsible action which certainly will not change your situation at all.

Well , facing friendship that ends is not easy. However, don’t be too hard on yourself. Make this a good lesson for your future relationship, Ladies.

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