At the beginning of a love affair, you could say this is the most exciting period for couples. Romance flowers blossom violently, so that not infrequently sweet promises will come out. The first week and month of the relationship is also a very important time because in this term the relationship can get stronger or even end with the word ‘break up’. In fact, some seemingly harmless habits can sabotage your love relations even before they begin. One of them is to fantasize about a relationship itself.
Tina Konkin, relationship coach and founder of Couple Retreat and Relationship Lifeline explained, “Dating or dating should be a time of discovery, but it also depends on past lives, whether bad or good. Dating can lead to long-term relationships and happy marriages, or vice versa which shows that you’re not a suitable partner. “
However, unfortunately according to Konkin, many adults who date carry all the memories, good or bad from the past that often create awkward moments, or others that lead to self-sabotage.
For example, on the second date you find out that a man who is close to you has a habit of chewing food like your father, and so far your father is a figure of perpetrators of violence. Yup, of course your relationship will end quickly. Your relationship ends before it even starts because your thoughts are already negative.
Nikki Lewis, co-founder of The Bevy said that although positive things like imagining a perfect relationship can also be a problem in itself. “Never assume that you have mapped out all of your relationships with someone in the beginning.” Because according to him, this can lead to false expectations which can refer to disappointment, unfulfilled possibilities. And this can all lead to the end of your relationship.
Everyone does make mistakes. However, don’t let this mistake make the relationship bland. To make your relationship work, Konkin and Nikki offer advice on dating habits that need to be eliminated. Listen together, Ladies!
Ignore the Source of the Problem
The first thing you really need to do is get rid of the habit of ignoring problems. If you feel there are actions that make you uncomfortable or have a negative impact, it needs to be discussed. Communicate everything that feels unclear, and talk about things that make you uncomfortable. Don’t just stay quiet and it will become a big problem later on.
Asking Things Too Far
Having just been in a love affair for a few days you’ve asked about marriage and children. Questions like this are okay to do, Ladies. However, you should not assume that with you. To know this, get to know your date more deeply. This can create pressure at the beginning of a relationship.
Underestimate the Former
Another thing to note is to discuss the former. It’s good not to bring up the ugliness of the former and also inappropriate to bring it to the present. When asked why you broke up, you can answer with just one or two sentences. Don’t spend time dating by always discussing the ex. Because this will make you look like you can’t move on and are still stuck in the past.
Not Being Yourself
During early dates, don’t let yourself not be yourself. Lying about educational background, family, and others. Use clothes that are worn everyday, talk as usual, and others. Do not let the wrong information about you at the beginning of a date, he does not love the real you and can cause heartbreak in the end.
Just live your love relationship as it is. Don’t assume about the beautiful things you see in dramas or movies, stay realistic so that the relationship that you try to maintain can get to the desired level.